i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
do herpes really smell.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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