Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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