Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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