You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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