have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Randomize
