You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
