just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
