Have you finally orgasmed yet?
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
We are two peas in an std pod
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
