We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
