Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
