he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Ketchup is God's man juice
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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