All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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