Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
