so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
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