he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
