i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
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