it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
