I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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