turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
