i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
