Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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