I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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