I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
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