doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
i dont even know how to be here
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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