saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
