So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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