Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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