Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Randomize
