There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
