it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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