Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Randomize
