how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Randomize
