Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
