I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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