I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
