So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
