Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize
