Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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