I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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