How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
My feet surprised me
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
