Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.�
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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