he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
