I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
