I accidentally had phone sex last night
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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