It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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