We should be called the Road Head Warriors
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
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