I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
