you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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