She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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