I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I just want nice things and good sex
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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