Yo dont text me then not text me
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
