The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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