The maid of honor just puked.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
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