I want to have your abortion
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Randomize
